Again.

by Cheryl Kerr
edited by Deana Tavares

I remember 
Kissing, your bald head
You were smaller then
Still, the same fuzz
You were crying 
Would not be soothed
I had a million things to do.

Every reason
To lay you down 
Let you cry yourself to sleep
But, oh, that bald head
Smelling like powder
Innocence
Simplicity

I chose to hold you
High
Upon my chest
Your tiny bottom
In the palm of my hand

We rocked
Danced
I sang to you

When you slipped
Into blessed sleep
even then
I held you close, to my heart
under my nose

So to kiss
Your fuzzy, bald head
Again, and again

If there is God in the darkness
All these years later
I, again
Am holding
My baby
Laying gentle kisses
Amidst the fuzz
Upon your bald head

Even as you cry
I hold you
Ever closer
Smell your head
Of soap
boyhood
Just slightly more complicated
Than before

You, bent over a tub 
My capricious mind wanders
Into fear
Still, I hold you close
Kiss your head
I know God is here. 

As you sleep
Another day done
I stand over you
Watching
Your chest rise and
Fall

Like moms do
Reassuring myself
That you, are
Alive.

Then I lean over your warm body.
I kiss your bald head.

 Again.

Published by Cheryl Kerr

I'm a UCC minister and mom to three unique and amazing kids. I'm curious about the divided state of the world and am convinced that hope for unity and peace lies within each of our divinely blessed hearts. Also, my nine year old son was diagnosed with cancer this year which has simultaneously widened my perspective and made it oddly narrow. This blog contains my wonderings on life, cancer, and how vulnerable courage can bring us together.

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